(Radio Iowa) – This past week’s fatal shootings (on Aug. 27th) of children in a Minneapolis school’s church can be very difficult for adults to process, let alone kids. A mental health care professional is urging Iowa parents to talk with their children about these tragedies.
Sarah Long, a psychologist at Emplify Health by Gundersen, says to be careful not to offer too much information too soon, as that may only increase a child’s level of anxiety. “Understanding the developmental level that your child is at really helps you to tailor the information that you’re giving them to their appropriate level,” Long says, “so they have a good understanding of the information that we’re sharing with them and not becoming overwhelmed by it.”
Sarah Long (Gundersen photo)
As parents discuss this incident, Long says there’s no “one size fits all” talk, as each member of the family will process the information in their own way.
“Even two same-age kids are going to have a different level of cognitive understanding, also a different level of emotional resilience,” Long says. “So really understanding your own child and what their strengths and areas for improvement are will help you to know what’s the level of information that my child can handle.”
Most parents understand not to provide too many gory details about a mass shooting, but they might try to offer more background than a child really needs to know.
“We always also encourage people to start with the least amount of information and then build and layer from there,” Long says. “Kids tell us they need more information by asking more questions. So if you give the information and they seem satisfied with that, you’ve fulfilled their needs. If they’re still asking questions, then they’re telling us, ‘I need more information than what you’ve given me.’”
They may have follow-up questions days later after hearing more about an incident from other kids at school, so parents should be prepared to offer more detail, as these aren’t “one and done” conversations. “This can be a really hard and scary thing to talk about, but that doesn’t mean that we have to avoid that conversation,” she says, “and that kids have a safe space at home to talk with their family regarding any questions or concerns that they have.”
Revisiting the topic will also allow the parent another chance to reinforce how safety measures are in place and how work is being done to protect kids from something like this ever happening at their own school.
Emplify Health has clinics in Calmar, Decorah, Fayette, Lansing, Postville and Waukon, and a hospital in West Union.